TRANSCRIPT

Kathy Hoolahan (00:34):

Hi, and welcome to a bonus episode zero Raised By An Invisible Village. Well, you know what launching my story didn’t happen overnight. I have wanted to tell my story for many, many years, but my challenge was always how do I position it? 

What is it about my story that is interesting? Why would someone wants to hear my story. And then of course, there is time, not only physical time, but more importantly, emotional time and space. I could write a whole episode on how often the universal lines and things just happen. 

But there’s enough out there on that subject. But in the context of my story, I met Jacqueline through a mutual friend and we had an instant connection. 

Little did I know that Jacqueline was a professional coach and mentor, her expertise in how to communicate with influence. So now being in this amazing position of having both physical and emotional space, together with the expertise of a coach, I had no excuses. 

The next 14 minutes will take you inside the first session that I had with Jacqueline, which actually was over a three hour period. Her ability to guide me through a process provided me with the confidence to be clear with my messaging, my purpose, and what was most important to me ensuring that you as a listener feel connected and safe. 

Word of the entire session was dysfunctional. Just you won’t find it in the dictionary. By the way, it’s a Cathy made up word. I hope you enjoy listening to some of the incredible powerful questions and answers that facilitated the courage to start. 

I invite and welcome you into my story Raised By An Invisible Village, creating a safe and connected space for you.

Jacqueline Nagle (02:26):

Why does it matter to you?

Kathy Hoolahan (02:29):

It matters because I think a lot of people think that if you have good education, you have a beautiful family, and you have financial backing. That is what helps you be successful. When the reality is there’s so many people that are successful and haven’t had that background. 

And I am part of that journey in that my life has been a significant roller coaster for a whole bunch of different reasons. Yet I’ve come out the other end. And I have successful family and relationships. 

And obviously career has been successful as well. Doesn’t mean that I’m at the end and you know, there’s no more learnings or whatever. But to have gone through that and be at the position I am in life to be able to be okay in telling that story is before that wasn’t okay in telling the story. 

And there’s going to be moments that I don’t think I will be okay telling the story. But the story has to be told

Jacqueline Nagle (03:29):

When you says story has to be told what’s behind that?

Kathy Hoolahan (03:33):

Well, I always had this saying that the best form of revenge is success. And I actually saw it the other day, I thought it was my saying but clearly not. I guess not. Not always being angry, but striving for what was the, you know, I’ve defined my life when I had my children. 

Yeah. And being able to provide for them in a way that I hadn’t been provided. So that that was my whole, you know, that was my whole focus was my boys being healthy, you know, young males. 

Then when they left home, I had to redefine what, who am I? What am I doing? What’s my life? Yeah. And so I went through that obviously, with Joe, because I’d kind of like time at the point that Joe and I got together. 

And I really struggled for a really long time because it was what’s my purpose? What’s my so to answer your question on what’s driving? Well, I guess it’s my kids still.

Jacqueline Nagle (04:26):

What is it about your kids that makes it important?

Kathy Hoolahan (04:30):

It has to be to help you they’ve been part of it. They’ve been part of the story they’ve been fundamentally I was given to have a purpose in life. Yeah. And there’s still, it’s still very much part of that. Finding the book that you gave me really hard to read, but it’s good to so many, like halfway through it. 

But it was really enjoyable. But he talks about you’ve got all these different people and resources in your life, but he talks about you’ve at least got to have something that is unconditional in your life and my kids have always been unconditional. 

And that’s the first time I’ve ever had, you know, the big part of my life. So I thought that, you know, it was quite interesting

Jacqueline Nagle (05:09):

T his whole series of stories, the underpinning narrative of, you know, you want to tell this story, what would happen if you didn’t?

Kathy Hoolahan (05:16):

My children probably would never really understand the entirety of the journey. There might be some people out there that it resonates with because there’s so much diversity in the story, that any part of the story would have a connection with somebody. 

And I just find that their world of reliance on if only I had, if only this happened, only I had this resource and so will you actually have those resources, you just need to tap into them, or appreciate that we’ll be grateful for them.

Jacqueline Nagle (05:56):

What’s the difference when they create in their world as a result of hearing either parts or more of your story?

Kathy Hoolahan (06:02):

I want them to be like, Wow, she was able to achieve that. But not so overwhelmed, that people can’t find a connection to go, there were these things that she did to do that, or there were these people that helped her to do that. 

Because I think sometimes you can create such a like, Oh, my God, you know, you had a million dollar global company, and he did this. And that, which is fine, when you’re presenting to a group of investors in you know, you want that, but I think the everyday person, even if you are in a corporate life, there’s this ability to be able to help someone, work through some problem or create an awareness of what you have around you, or what you have actually within you as well.

Jacqueline Nagle (06:52):

So amongst all of that, what are you grateful for?

Kathy Hoolahan (06:56):

I’m grateful that I always seem to have somebody. And I remember, because of the way that my parents were, and subsequently, all my siblings. And I’ll never forget this feeling. Because I’ve had really good friends, but I’ve had core good friends. 

And that used to be my anchor. But I can’t be completely bad or awful. Because I have these friends that are in my life. Because my mother used to tell me how was manipulative? Because tell the truth, made up stories and

Jacqueline Nagle (07:35):

To nominate a reason why you made it through world, drive and determination. Do you think you were born in it?

Kathy Hoolahan (07:45):

Um, I do, actually. Because I remember, my parents always telling me that I had a strong will.

Jacqueline Nagle (07:51):

What is it that you want them to feel when they’ve all listened to a few episodes? It’s emotional response, maybe inspired?

Kathy Hoolahan (07:58):

I don’t know if that’s an overused word. And I listened to your podcast that you did with Claudia. And I think I think what’s actually nice listening now to some of the podcasts is the realness of people actually speaking about that experience, that shit happens. And real stuff happens. And it is real. I think everybody can relate to that.

Jacqueline Nagle (08:33):

What do you think that does for people?

Kathy Hoolahan (08:36):

Normalizes stuff. Because everybody has a story.

Jacqueline Nagle (08:42):

And what you just said then actually getting people allowing people to feel connected and safe. 

Kathy Hoolahan (08:51):

Yeah, sharing. I think that’s actually the number one. And that’s really interesting. Because as a leader, that has helped. That’s always kind of how I’ve always played, yes, feeling connected and safe and, and wanting people to aspire to what their next level is. 

Jacqueline Nagle (09:08):

So that’s important. Because I actually have that you just have to feel connection safe is connected and save and confident to go the next Yes, yeah, yes. incompetent. They can do next.

Jacqueline Nagle (09:18):

Yeah. What are the next is

Kathy Hoolahan (09:21):

and if to slip into my leadership in the corporate world, those that have followed me wherever I’ve gone, and still are in my life. That’s what they would say is what you do is Yeah, and I follow through on it. And I say something that I can’t dig yourself there.

Jacqueline Nagle (09:41):

Yeah, I think it’s especially if that’s how you show up in your corporate world and people I think that’s actually your thing is actually through these conversations. 

You want to create a space where people can feel connected and safe, and actually believe in themselves enough to take that next step.

Kathy Hoolahan (10:02):

Even the people that are interview need to feel connection safe. Correct.

Jacqueline Nagle (10:06):

So it’s actually your through line. Yeah. Right. Yeah. even think about dysfunction. And you know, there are some big dysfunction stories, including your own. From running through your timeline. 

What stands out for me is is exactly the same every time, you felt connected and safe. You’re able to make a step. It’s when you felt like you were flailing against the world and needing approval and connection from your family. That was never gonna come. 

Yeah, that you were really lucky when you couldn’t get connection and solely from your family. That’s when you are 12. And you said a word before. And it was just because you’re kind of saying words fast. 

Are you talking about the dysfunction? And you ran a couple of words together, and it inadvertently sounded like the dysfunctional list. And it kind of like it was just a made up word run together? Yeah. And I wrote it down, because I don’t think it’s like, I don’t think it’s your marketing title. 

But there’s something about her that underpins it, because that ties in as well to this normalizing of stuff. Like the dysfunctionality is like the person is going to show you this okay to be dysfunctional. Humans don’t like it, right? 

Because it’s almost like you’re ripping off the lid to this perception that dysfunction means it’s permanent. Yes. So quite often say people that come from the stories quite often when you start fighting against you can get the need to then find something to fight for. We can quite often flatline Yeah. Right? And it’s kind of like, well, I don’t need to fight against him. Okay, so find something to fight for. Yeah. Right. 

So this is kind of like it’s beyond just analyzing dysfunction. It’s like the Methodist assumption, because I think and this is gonna live for you, but it feels like what we’re actually throwing rocks at is that dysfunction is permanent. 

Yeah. Because that’s actually what people think. Yeah, the reason why your story My story surprises people’s cause. That’s not how it’s supposed that’s not the role. Yeah, like, if you’re in dysfunction, you’re supposed to stay in dysfunction. Yeah, even though we all love the hero story. So I feel powerful.

Kathy Hoolahan (12:15):

Yeah, it is really powerful. Yeah.